Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? A roll shaped like an automobile. The police are looking into it. Platinum What is a fax machine's favorite element? I tell students that in future labs, we will be working with chemicals and examine the elements in each. The last two figures are suppose to be stick figures From: privacy. A fixture in your house with a faucet and a drain. It's the formula for water. If a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster? Polonium What is a Usenet Users favorite element? As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
The Fortune Fish knows all! As long as students can provide an explanation for their selection we agree as a class to accept their answers. They're cheaper than day rates. The fourth choice, 'metals are located on the higher periods,' is true enough but gold is right there and so this choice is weak. Scandium What is prince Charles' favorite element? A 2000 pound casket: Krypton 18. Your chemistry knowledge is the key.
Copper What is a stage performers favorite element? A popular red or pink flower found in pots. Why are chemists great for solving problems? Workin' hard or hardly workin'? Boards that have nailed down to walk upon. In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon. Q: What did one titration say to the other? What you get if you put Robin Williams in jail. Little Willie is no more.
Can you decipher the chemistry code? Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. A ship's kitchen: Gallium 8. A kitchen work area with a drain: Zinc 7. Phillips Q:How many atoms in a guacamole? Europium, Germanium, Francium What is the Cowardly Lion's favorite element? One is American, one is British. If you are good at chemistry and enjoy all those chemical equations, then here we present to you another side of chemistry that is much more fun.
Rabbit like paired electrons on an ether, ether bunny. Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? Why not make it with boron? Cesium What is a nymphomaniac's favorite element? What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Yttrium What is the friendliest element? A: HeHe Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? What the cowboy did with his horses. A: I've got my ion you. Be creative and have pun! How many atoms in a guacamole? The thought of being probed by an electromagnetic field horrified her. Flourine What is an orthopaedic surgeon's fav. For Teachers By incorporating jokes into their chemistry lessons, teachers can stimulate student interest and make chemistry more appealing. For a sneak peek at the film trailer visit:.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. See what they can make! Women like that are never distributed normally among the population. The third choice, 'metals bond with metals easily,' also true but metallic bonds are not the substance of bonds in compounds. Perhaps with a housplant, a Germanium. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? If only we had learned about in Chemistry class… 64. Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. This lesson was inspired by a now archived website, by Eric Streitberger.
Palladium If a chemist becomes flabby, find a way to Fermium up. The element that comes after nine. They were both happy until Grignard asked Ethyl if she'd mind if he had her spectra taken. So a precipitate is definitely not part of the solution. Hydrogen What element is not as friendly? A: Breaking up is hard to do. Why not upgrade them to provide new lab experiences with the experiments! A: Barium Q: What did one ion say to the other? A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
A: Never lick the spoon! What a cloud does - Uranium - U. Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? The kitchen on a Roman ship. Ethyl started feeling rather radical, and her new reactivity caused Grignard to vibrate faster. So why am I requiring my students to learn the chemical symbols for elements in the periodic table? Students are given the about various elements in the Periodic Table for homework. Chemists do like to mix it up. Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? The leg joint above the calf: Neon 9.
Good evening ladies and germs. So put down that beaker, take off your safety glasses, and enjoy a few chemistry jokes and riddles. A person from Troy who only goes out after dark. Have went very poor grammar : Argon 3. Titanium is a most amorous metal.